Chasing Rainbows in California. Finding Them at Home.

I can’t get enough of painting California. It was so beautiful that it almost hurt to look at. It was impossible to soak it all in, even in person. I don’t know that there’s a “most beautiful” place on earth, but if there is, Highway 1 comes pretty darn close. The colors are what got me. From a distance, they looked muted, but up close, wowza did they zing with some rainbow magic!

Speaking of rainbows, do you believe in signs? Not road-signs, but signs from somewhere unknown... signs that you’re on the right track... signs to take one exit or the other on your highway of life? I didn’t always, but now I do.

As soon as we landed back in North Carolina and rounded the airport exit to Bryan Boulevard, I was thinking about painting California. Then the biggest, brightest rainbow stretched over our family car. It was one of those moments. You know-- like that guy on YouTube from a few years ago. That’s exactly how I felt coming home from our trip.

Then another weird thing happened as I worked on the California paintings. The word cadence kept popping into my mind. It’s not a word I normally use, but I’d just decided to name the California paintings “The Cadence Collection” when I rounded a corner on my daily commute to school pick up. A sign with the word “cadence” plastered in big letters nearly jumped in front of my windshield. I still don’t know what that sign was for, but I knew this collection was meant to be The Cadence Collection and somehow it needed to be painted now.

All the signs were telling me “take the exit!” so I did.

What does cadence mean? Rhythm is the most common meaning of the word, but that didn’t fully resonate. I had to ask the Dr. Googles for more hints. Apparently, cadence can also refer to something spiritual in nature, like the beat of our walk through life. The rhythm of crashing waves on the shore fits in metaphorically, as does following our own personal thread of inspiration. Yes, all that makes sense here. Heap a profound sense of connection on top and now we’re talking.

When the Fog Lifts

Can you image the rhythm of your soles gingerly finding footing along rocky coastline? Imagine looking up in awe to see enormous waves of aquamarine and indigo crashing down up ahead. That’s exactly what The Cadence Collection is about. Witnessing something that steals your breath momentarily… beauty, transcendence, awe, connection, meaning, the bittersweet passage of time… all of that resonates here.

Each of us follow the path, not knowing what the next high-tide will bring.

The thing about it is this... Beauty holds space for all of it. It doesn’t deny the pebbles or boulders in our path while staring at the sun. That blinds us, and not in a good way. Beauty gives all of it a nod as part and parcel of an authentic life. Those San Andreas cracks in the cliffs over there— they’re exactly what makes them so breathtaking to begin with.

I used to love the quote “See the flowers, not the weeds,” when I was in the thick of it with a hard time. If you’re curious, my hard time was navigating two little toddlers with eating difficulties and one with a nonsensical case of FPIES. Back then I liked the quote so much that I illustrated it and framed it, hoping it might make me more positive when I felt sad and scared, or secretly even more palatable to others as I grieved the loss of what I thought life would look like in our home. I thought strength was muscling through all the caretaking, but now I know that was short sighted. What I really needed was to honor how hard everything was and to learn to ask for help… on repeat. I did, finally, and while I still tooth and nailed it through the physical caretaking, we received so much financial help in terms of gifts for FPIES research from family and friends. It completely overwhelmed me with gratitude then and the memory of it does now too. You know who you are. Thank you over and over and over again.

This summer marked the 5 year anniversary of all of that. The Greensboro Walk for FPIES back in 2019 also marked the beginning of the end of our FPIES journey, though we wouldn’t know it for months. Today both of our children can eat anything— and these days I don’t think twice about celebrating birthdays with cake, checking food labels or packing “safes." Gone are the years when our daughter’s diet was limited to two ingredients and bottles of unflavored formula meant for feeding tubes.

I’m swapping out the weeds quote because I now know weeds and fault lines are beautiful too. So are loss, grief, failure, need, emotion, vulnerability and a whole bunch of those other hard, messy, human parts of life. I think we do an emotional disservice to ourselves and others when we pretend to only see the flowers. If I’ve learned anything from painting California, I’ve learned this: The jagged parts don’t detract from the beauty of our landscapes. They are the beauty.

Where can I find your work in person?

Selected paintings from this collection will appear in several shows in N.C. this fall. This large painting called Big Sur, and a few more are available in the GreenHill Center for N.C. Art Winter Show.

Right now that’s easy for me to say because my family is in a sweet spot. Our kids are growing up, but they’re still small enough for play and wonder. I know they won’t be that way much longer. Every single time I turn around and catch a glimpse of life, I can’t believe how fast it’s going. I’m also grateful that I get to witness it all--the easy parts and the hard ones too. If I had a genie in a bottle, I’d wish for more time with all the folks I love—both family and friends.

I’d make the impermanent permanent.

Wouldn’t we all?

Love Letter to California

This painting will be featured in Raleigh’s Pullen Arts Center from November 2 - January 25th. The reception is slated for Saturday, January 25 from 2:30-4:30. I’ll be there!

Painting helps me transform gorgeous memories into beauty that I can hang on my walls and keep. I can’t slow time, but for now, painting breathtaking landscapes that remind me of life is close enough. It may not matter to everyone, but it matters to me.

One day, maybe these paintings will end up as tangible reminders of my love and gratitude for the gift of so many circles around our sun with so many folks that I adore. Or maybe in some way that I may or may not ever understand, they’ll signify that for you and your family too. I sure hope so.

The Cadence Collection will debut on Tuesday, November 12th at 10 a.m. for Studio Insiders and at noon for the public. There are at least 12 oil paintings and over 20 small works on paper available. The final paintings, dimensions + pricing will be posted here before the big release. To join my Studio Insiders and be the first to see and shop the new works click here. *

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Original oil paintings in The Cadence Collection